Size of Thanos By D.A.V.E.

I'm shocked that you ever could. That is one solid slab of man right there.

That one scene in infinity war where he demonstrates the knife balance on his finger? That knife looks like it's the size of a popsicle stick to him. Later, when Gamora stabs him in the chest with it, it's clearly much larger than a normal knife to her. It's insane.

So I get to thinking about relative size. I am a pretty big guy, 6'4 and 200lbs. Standing next to Thanos, I'm a midget. I could fit my whole fist in less than the palm of his hand.

Not bragging here, I'm just being truthful: I've got a pretty big dick too. I could whip my penis out next to Thanos, though, and it'd be like comparing a broom handle to a concrete bollard. That guy is walking around with a fucking tree trunk in his Infinity Boxers and I'm standing here with an Expo marker. This man's dick comes out audibly. You feel the breeze from Thanos's dick flopping out. If it fell on your head, it would hurt. A lot. It
would feel like somebody dropped a half-frozen ham on your head from a foot up. You're a sippy cup and Big Daddy T is a Big Gulp. When you pitch a tent, your pants just bulge, but this man can literally use his dick as a tent support. I could fuck his dickhole if I had a tall enough stepladder and I'd fit.

It's not like I'm any more sexually attracted to Thanos than the average person. It's just that I walk around all day feeling like top dog because of my size and there's always a bigger dick, you know? I just think about it. That thing is irrationally big. It defies logic. I don't know what else to say. He's a big fuccin boi.