Sex with a Creeper By D.A.V.E.

Yo imagine sticking your dick in a creeper from minecraft. Just imagine sneaking up behind one, grabbing it by its long, green body and just sticking your dick between its four legs. But I hear you ask: What if it starts hissing? Then expanding? Then getting hotter? What if it explodes while my dick is aggressively thrusting up and down and up and down in its green pussy? Good question, my fellow creeper-fucker. The trick is - and this is crucial if you don't want sex with a fucking minecraft creeper to be your last moments - cum before it explodes and hope your cum defuses the bomb. The problem is, the organ that is responsible for blowing the creeper up is located right above the woumb, meaning you have to nut hard enough to penetrate the creeper's woumb and defuse it effectively. This is a crucial step to take if you don't want to die. Now, I will admit one thing: I haven't tried this yet. I haven't gone up to a creeper and stuck my hard, throbbing cock inside of it. I am currently training my dick to be able to shoot semen out fast enough. I measure this by seeing how far up my nut goes in the air if I jerk it lying on my back. At first I did it in my room, but aftet a couple of tries I made a crack in the ceiling. So i decided to try it outside. First I was a little embarrassed because everyone was like "why the fuck is there some neckbearded fuckhead wearing a shirt that says "Creeper Pussy 4 Lyfe" laying on the ground masturbating? But once I started wanking off aggressively enough they seemed to get scared and walk away. Anyway, once I managed to squeeze it out - I kid you not - I hit a fucking bird out of the air. It was legendary. I was extremely proud (and happy I finally had something for dinner tonight). I'd say that that right there is a pretty good sign that my nut is fast enough to penetrate a creeper's woumb. Now all I need to do is be able to squeeze that nut out fast enough, as currently it takes 10 minutes for me to nut hard enough to snipe that damned bird out of the sky. Wish me luck!